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Loving and Letting Go–Lessons from a Fur Angel

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A Sunny-style hug in “lap lounging” position

It’s hard to believe that just  a few short weeks ago, we held Sunny for the last time and said our final farewells as he journeyed out of this physical life. I am sharing a bit of our story and the lessons he left us on loving and letting go, as a tribute to our truly remarkable feline “fur angel.”

Sunny came to us 10 years ago as a direct answer to the most specific request we’d ever made to the Universe: we asked for a golden boy cat who would love us all. And two weeks later, he showed up, literally, on our doorstep, an abandoned, sick little kitten who was tenderly nursed back to health by my daughter, Angela. This forged a truly extraordinary bond between them—though, just as we had asked, Sunny unreservedly loved us all.

For Angela, Sunny became her constant, truest friend for over a decade—a painful and turbulent decade for her in many ways. But through it all, Sunny was just Always There—by her side, on her lap, draped over her shoulder, stretched next to her in bed, brushing against her legs, sitting on her feet, wrapping his tail around her knees, patting her face with his paw. Even just gazing earnestly at her, as he had been doing a lot more in recent times, he absolutely radiated Love—it was visible and palpable. He was, truly, Divine Love incarnate for her–and  for us all, including our other cats.

Kitties 011 At 10 years old, he had slowed down considerably from his younger wall-jumping and Angela-chasing bursts of kitty craziness. He was, instead, an unabashed foodie and ultimate Zen master of the art of lounging–on the floor where he blended exquisitely with the golden hardwood, in “my” chair (really his own kingly throne), across a full half of the couch,

100_4107 Critters 002 Critters 091DSCF0242and most especially, settling into Angela’s lap JUST as she was about to get up to go do something that he obviously considered completely unnecessary and irrelevant.

“What’s your rush?” he seemed to ask. “Let’s just BE together for awhile….” And she would inevitably melt and just BE with him for awhile, lounging, actively cuddling, or sometimes playfighting, as the energy level dictated. And all those “awhiles” blended into a decade-long string of golden Sunny moments that we thought would never end….

Until the fateful October morning when he settled onto our rug and GAZED at me, as he had once before when he had a special message to convey. That first time, I got the meaning “I’M WITH YOU” when we’d contemplated moving to another state and wondered if he’d be better off with friends. This time, it felt different–something I simply couldn’t take in right then, something that sounded like, “THIS IS IT…”

That afternoon, he failed to make an appearance when treats were distributed–an utterly unprecedented event for our resident gourmet. Huddled on Angela’s bed, he was listless and seemed feverish. And so we rushed off with him into the Twilight Zone of all-night vets and hospitals and tests that kept coming out negative for days. There was a brief respite early on, when the fever abated and we had him home for one more “normal” night and got our final photo of him Zen-lounging on Angela’s shoes–a last golden moment at home.

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But that same day he stopped eating and drinking again and we re-entered the Twilight Zone at 4 am, at a different vet hospital. There he was finally diagnosed–pancreatitis, they said. We see it all the time, they said. The prognosis is usually very good, they said.

But not this time. Complications kept arising, and information seemed always to be too little, too late. After days of downward spiral, the vet offered only two options: a risky and painful surgery, or euthanasia.

And so we went to him for what would be our final golden Sunny moments. One more earnest GAZE that said, “ALL I WANT NOW IS TO GO PEACEFULLY, WITH YOU AND LOVING YOU TO THE END.” Our acceptance of that message. The final snuggles, strokes, loving words of gratitude for the gift he had been to us for ten amazing, wonderful years. We felt, even in our pain, a sort of supreme spiritual clarity that allowed time to stretch so that we could express and receive all the love that was meant for us in those last brief moments. There was, somehow, a deep sense of completion and satisfaction within us all.

When the vet came in to administer the final injection, Sunny slowly, deliberately turned in Angela’s lap so his face was cuddled up to her right side–that way his back was to the vet and the hospital tubes were not visible, so we could see him at the end as the Sunny we remembered. He laid his head on Angela’s hand, and relaxed into sleep and into his passing. It was indeed peaceful and just what he wanted–our hands holding him, our love surrounding him, to the very end. I sensed the silver cord connecting soul to body dissolve, and as his soul soared upward I could swear I heard singing and saw him somehow SHIFT into a form still golden, but more angel than feline.

His pain was over; ours was intensified. Letting go of all that Sunny had been to us–a unique and fascinating friend, a beloved family member, and a true source of radiant, unconditional Love wrapped in velvety golden fur–it ripped our hearts open as we had never experienced before. Not even my divorce had hurt like this. It felt like what Emily Dickinson wrote, “There is a pain–so utter–it swallows substance up….”  We were both swallowed up, for a time. We are making our journey back, day by day, helped by family and friends.

Now we can better absorb and relay some of what Sunny had been teaching us about life, love, and letting go:

1. Savor ALL the joys of embodiment–food 🙂 , physical touch, the outdoors, good long stretches, zesty activity, utter repose. Being physical is truly a magnificent and all-too-brief experience and is meant to be treasured, golden moment by golden moment.

2. Lounge more with those you love. There is no substitute for simply, fully, BEING with one whose love you share. Talk is optional, snuggling is not.

3. Pay attention to ALL inner prompts to express love. We are so thankful we listened to the still small voices that urged us, “Get his favorite food this week…play that paper bag game again…take a few more pictures…cuddle up just a bit longer…play now, work later…” Especially that last one.

0044. Be fully present when it is time to let go. Feel everything, honor everything, including accepting the ache of missing a beloved embodied form, and allowing  that ache to soften by opening to Love in other forms.

But if you’d like to know the largest lesson Sunny taught us about Love, you can find it written hereon the page my sister created as a memorial fund to honor Sunny’s life and our final days of caring for him. If you  feel an inner prompt, perhaps from a special fur friend of your own, to share in this fund to honor Sunny, please know that this Love shared is Love multiplied and will ripple back to you in yet more forms. And if you sense a certain golden glow around you afterwards, that would be Sunny’s heart and ours sending hugs and thanks to you. And, of course, more Love.

More Tiny True Tales of Transformation: Journey into the Paranormal

In our first installment of true client transformation stories, you got a peek at, as I said then, some “different kinds of real.” I hope you are ready to go further in this time! Reach for your trusty metaphysical machete and join me as we hack our way into the jungles of deep woo-woo known as The Paranormal…

A Lost Soul Rescued

Todd just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something wrong with his energy lately. He was smart, in a good job, and comfortable with his well-developed psychic abilities. But recently he was aware of some sort of “off” energy around him that felt like a presence watching his every move. He couldn’t get a clear sense of what it was, and it made him uneasy. What finally prompted him to pay me a visit was the fact that he started having frightening dreams of a man at his window who was yelling at him and threatening to force his way inside.

In our session, I asked Todd some questions about when he’d first noticed this energy or presence, and learned that he had lived for a time near the site of a Revolutionary War battlefield. This gave me an idea of what had happened to Todd, so I psychically scanned him and detected an attached entity–an earthbound human soul, or ghost. It appeared to be a young man, a few years younger than Todd. I called in my spirit allies who assist with clearing these beings, and they gently detached him from Todd’s energy fields and contained him in a sphere of Divine energy. Then I was able to safely talk with him and learn a bit of his story.

He was, as I suspected, a soldier who was killed on the battlefield Todd mentioned. He had attached himself to Todd because they were of a similar age, and he had also sensed Todd’s psychic abilities and was trying to communicate. Since he hadn’t been getting through when Todd was awake, he started entering Todd’s dreams and had been shouting in frustration rather than menace! The soldier had been engaged to a young lady before going off to war, and his sudden death had shattered his cherished hopes for love and a happy life. His fiancee had married another, and the soldier’s soul had simply drifted back to the battlefield, forlorn and depressed, unable to move on. He was tired of being stuck on Earth, but needed help and guidance to go on into the Planes of Light for healing.

I called in escorting angels and opened a doorway for the young soldier to see not only his former fiancee, but others of his family waiting to welcome him with open arms. I had a vision of the young man straightening his cap and saluting Todd and me in gratitude for his release, then turning to march off into the doorway with the angels at his side. It was a very moving image, and I was deeply touched to have had the privilege of freeing not only Todd, but this young “unknown soldier” to move forward on their different journeys.

Todd has continued to work with me in creating energetic safety protocols to avoid further attachments and to protect his home from unwanted entities as well. I admire his dedication to developing his psychic abilities and staying safe in the process!

A Mysterious (ET) Device Removed

Image Credit: www. astro-canada.ca

Image Credit: www. astro-canada.ca

David arrived 30 minutes late for his appointment, apologizing profusely. This was my first clue that something was wrong, because David had seen me before and he was always punctual. He actually had a gift for being in the right place at just the right time, but that was clearly out of whack at this point!

And that wasn’t the only problem. While David was frustrated at the issues he had been experiencing with timing (in the last week he had mistakenly shown up at stores just at their closing time not just once but three times, plus running late for work and public transportation), he was far more concerned that he had basically stopped dreaming. Normally his dreams were vivid and served as sources of spiritual insight, but lately he was barely dreaming at all, and the dreams were muddy and vague. And David was truly alarmed that he also had lost his lifelong ability to visualize, as this was his major tool for manifestation.

All of these issues had shown up at about the same time, a couple of weeks prior to our appointment. I had a sense that they all stemmed from a single source, but what could it be?

I asked for clarity on the cause of David’s symptoms, and got the message that there was an energetic device in David’s energy fields that had recently been implanted by a group of extraterrestrials for observation purposes. I asked to meet with the ETs responsible, and found out that they had no harmful intent; they were just monitoring David because of his own soul’s ET origins (Pleiadian) and his ongoing interest in communicating with ETs. I had my spirit allies scan the beings to verify their truthfulness and their own origins; they were Sirians (a group I knew and was friendly with). They apologized for the “destructive interference” their device had caused, and agreed to immediately deactivate, dismantle and remove it.

Within seconds, David’s visualizing capability was restored, to his great relief. An engineer himself, David was both pragmatic and good-humored about the energetic device’s “glitches,” and even invited a re-installation once the bugs were worked out!  We both thanked the ETs for their prompt and caring assistance.

The session ended with David being able to visualize with the same clarity he had always enjoyed. After some pleasant conversation afterwards, he looked at his watch and the train schedule and saw that he had just the right amount of time to catch the train he intended. So he was “back in the timestream again,” with his gift for synchronicity also restored.  And his dreams that night brightened up to their normal Technicolor setting as well. David was de-glitched!

So there you have it: four journeys into “other kinds of real,” four transformations in THIS kind of real! Stay tuned for further Tales….

Radio Interview and a New Path

LIVE INTERVIEW on TUESDAY, JULY 17, 2012,         8 pm CDT!

I’m happy to announce my first LIVE RADIO INTERVIEW as the Unboxed Oracle!  It’s on the Kristy D. Fox Show this Tuesday, July 17, 2012, at 8 pm CDT, and the program will be recorded and available for replay on the webpage afterwards.  Click  here to access the page and get the call-in number in case you’d like to ask a question LIVE!  Kristy herself is a beautiful and powerful lightworker who brings healing to many people through her connections with angels, ancestors and other Higher Beings.  And I’ll be sharing some brand-new Divine downloads about healing and spiritual growth myself.  This will be a truly empowering and uplifting broadcast that you will definitely want to hear to replenish your spiritual energies!

I’ll give a bit of a “teaser” about a major topic in the discussion.  My own journey into what I call an “expanded spirituality” was very rocky in the first few months–I lacked mentoring and support, and so I had to face many challenges and fears on my own, stumbling often and sometimes painfully in the process.  My experiences have led me to create a practice I call the Spiritual PowerPath, which is composed of a series of Steps to guide people to access their true spiritual gifts and power with grace, safety and support.

I’ll be talking about the essential Three First Steps on this PowerPath and explain how I can lead you into those Steps.  Even seasoned Pathwalkers will benefit from refreshing themselves on these Steps, and of course once you’re on the PowerPath, there are other Steps to keep you on course and in your power all along the way.  The whole practice is about choosing your Steps and then going forward with only as much support as you desire.  The goal is to create self-powered Walkers, Runners and ultimately Flyers!

Join me Tuesday, 7/17 at 8 pm CDT to learn more and step into your own power!   I look forward to sharing our energies!

Can This Haunt Be Saved?

Who are you?

The internal voice made me pause in my walk up Prospect Avenue.  I was passing a home that was reputed to be haunted; it had even opened to visitors on some Halloween nights based on that claim.  It certainly SEEMED unwelcoming to me.  As a clairaudient, I was used to being contacted through my spiritual hearing.  I had just been conversing mentally with some tree spirits and was sending reiki energy to all the nature spirits on the lot where the house sat.  But this voice had a different, almost childlike quality.

I’m an emissary of the Divine, I mentally replied. I sometimes spoke more formally in these conversations because I was working out of my spiritual identity as an incarnated seraph (the order of angels most closely surrounding the Divine).

“What are you doing here?”

I’m giving everyone some reiki–that’s life force energy from the Divine.  It’s one of my missions as a seraph.  Oh, and picking up trash is another, I told the unseen being with a little chuckle, as I bent down to grab a discarded candy wrapper.  So who are YOU?

“I’m a spirit in this house.”

I did a quick energy scan of the being and sensed that this was not a child’s ghost as it first had seemed, but a demonic entity.  No wonder the house had seemed unfriendly!  I felt no fear–being a seraph and having lots of protective beings around me meant I couldn’t be harmed.  But I needed to be alert for any attempts at deception or menace.

“You’re so beautiful.  I really like you.  Can I go with you and talk some more?”

NO. I’m leaving now, and you need to stay there.  My reply was firm.  I’d heard stories of entities playing on humans’ sympathy, getting their consent to go home with them, and then causing real trouble.  If I firmly denied permission to follow me and also cut any connecting energy cords after ending contact, the spirit would be unable to stay with me or know where I lived.

I walked away briskly and mentally cut the energy cords I perceived.  At home, I didn’t think much more about the incident until after supper, when I heard the same voice calling out to me frantically, sounding more distant.

“Help me!  HE’S going to hurt me!  HE’S mad because  I don’t want to be under HIM anymore–I want to be on your side!  PLEASE!”

I knew it was possible for some unholy beings to choose to change; I’d helped others change before, and it was a  joyful part of my spiritual work.  I was aware, though, that this could be a further attempt to deceive me.  So I contacted my spirit “lie detectors.” Is this one telling the truth or trying to trick me?  The reply was that I was getting the truth; this demon wanted to be transmuted and he WAS in danger.

I also knew who HE was–the Big Bad, the Enemy, aka Satan.  I was still not afraid because I’d faced Big Bad down before.  But I knew I had to act quickly to rescue and transmute the lesser demon without getting entangled in another confrontation.

I shot out a sphere of light to enclose and protect the demon and carry him to safety.  Inside the sphere were sacred symbols–a fiery violet triangle to transmute what was negative, and an angled black ray to consume anything negative that resisted transmutation.   And throughout the sphere echoed the tones of the Divine Name* to purify and reclaim the essence of the being that remained.  When the process was complete, the sphere opened and in place of the demon, an angel emerged!  It was a wondrous moment and there was great joy for us all–except HIM, of course….

So the house is now haunt-free.  I hope any Halloween visitors won’t be too disappointed at the change in atmosphere.   I’d like to think that if they knew what had happened, they’d be happy to have another angel around insteadI know I am!


*Knowledge of the Divine Name and how to tone it are found in The Divine Name by Jonathan Goldman, available on Amazon.com.